Sonishpere Schonisphere

September 15, 2010

As I haven’t written anything for a, good, long while now I figured it’s about time I wrote something about Sonisphere and, yes, I know that it’s been damn near a month so this the RC equivalent of writing about something that’s not very contemporary, or rather it’s exactly that, but fuck off I’m stuck for ideas and the band roulette udder isn’t quite ready for milking again just yet.

Sonisphere then, needless to say a hoot in a holla’, and quite a special occasion as my proverbial “festival cherry” was popped, kind of gives me fond memories of the boarding school, sleeping in a small space with a bunch of other guys whilst a cherry gets popped, but I digress. I always figured that a festival would play out like something between a Vietnam movie and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, trippy, a bit violent and filled with dutched camera angles.

Although It was a little while ago now I can still remember the parts that weren’t a blur (or rather slighty less blurry than the rest of the weekend) with some clarity so I figure it’s best to start (que the harps) on the thursday (and add an echo effect on the word “thursday” for good measure). It all started in a town called Fareham inside a Burger King, we were enjoying the fabulously tasting breakfast menu as well as rejoicing at the incredibly reasonable prices. Then my understudy Mr Boggles walked through the door and it was clear that I was defiantly an alpha amongst delta males. Although I had already started drinking at this point, my guess is that memory of the moments before the coach trip would be slightly different to the actual goings on, but as any friend of Ptez will tell you that I rarely drink and if I do it’s all in moderation.

The coach journey went off without a hitch, if you don’t include the whole breaking down on the side of motorway a hitch, and the  fact that the second coach smelt like clungey piss it was all in all a perfect journey.We then arrived at the festival and minus the two hours of queuing, we all got into the festival quite promptly. Naturally after setting up the tent we went straight to bed, not before going over our briefing about the dangers cannabis (a plant with roots… in HELL!).
It was the first day of music and although we still had till the evening to see the acts we got up early and read from our bibles and of course cleaned up our litter. We then  discuss why drinking is silly and why we wouldn’t do it ever again. The day passed by and it was time for the first act of the evening Turisas, clearly I must have had my cup of tea spike with some kind of drunkifying substance cause I regret to inform my readers (or rather all two of my readers) that Turisas is a bit of a blur, a fun red-faced blur that wears fabulous fur coats but a blur none the less.


I stumble around trying find another act, I went to the Jaeger stage only to find a band sound like a cross over of a torn anus and ripped arsehole (well in vocal terms at least.), then found myself at the Strong Bow tent, at this point Deaf Havana were playing. Deaf Havana were a band I’ve seen before so I knew that I’d be in for a musical treat. Again the blurriness will affect my judgment somewhat but this is what I remember, they were fucking awesome and like 90% of people who see Deaf Havana live I only really came for Friends Like These and shucks did they deliver and the audience were brilliant and a pleasure to be with.


Numan next and I was in for a big shock as like 100% of everyone my only impression of Gary Numan is Cars, I found to my surprise that Numan is pretty fucking heavy. He’s got this great industrial sound, the secret is the use of two Synth players one for typical synthy stuff and one to play along with the guitar riffs, which makes the riffage sound fat and when I say fat I mean PHAT (for are dyslexic readers).  Gary Numan a bit of a shock but a good shock that pleasantly surprised me.


Finally Alice Cooper, well what else can I say it’s Alice Fucking Cooper, I mean for fudge sake of course it going to be good if there something the man can do, it’s put on it’s a spectacle. Theatre of Death is incredible and there is no point in me reviewing it, there’s no point in talking about him dying Umpteen times or any of the classics featured in the set. In fact I might as well write the words Alice Cooper over and over and over again on the outside of your house and I don’t think that would do the show any justice.




One comment

  1. Europe were awesome as well, I loved the Bob Marley cover part way between that first song they did and The Final Countdown. Yes, alcohol is strictly prohibited at such classy and fancy-to-do’s such as this one, so naturally we played cards and discussed our favourite hymns.

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