Archive for November, 2010

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Gwar – The Bloody Pit Of Horror

November 22, 2010

As you can probably see, I’ve been on a bit of melodic stint lately. Roughly since…2001, so I thought it’s about high time we shook things up a bit with everyone’s favourite B-movie extras Gwar, and their new record. Catching these guy at Bloodstock was…enlightening, certainly with thoughts of “Is that…yes, yes that’s Hitler and he’s…he’s ejaculating green into the crowd. Well, the members of the yacht club won’t stand for that!”

While a large part of Gwar’s live show is the shock factor of the stage antics, and the admittedly great costumes and personas, it’s significantly harder to put that across on record. The album begins with the four part title track, a violent fusion of thrash, early hardcore and all the low budget horror violence a man could wish for. Therein is the essence of Gwar, there are no giant memorable riffs that pull a song out from the rest, but the throaty shouts of songs like Tick-Tits and the question “What could be better than ticks on your tits?”.  I’ll give it to them, Gwar a very crude, but very funny band. Without lying on the outright clinical horror of death metal, although Litany Of The Slain might just be the one semi-serious song on the album.

While I wouldn’t exactly call Gwar a singalong band, choruses that are shouts of “Tick-Tits!” and/or “Genocide!” are annoyingly infectious the extent you wonder if the band haven’t put them in just to piss you off. Regardless, the few moments of melodic hook are lost in a thrash maelstrom who’s main focus is often naught but unbridled malevolence toward the listener.

I have a feeling if you own a Gwar album, you pretty much own them all. Despite the juvenile bristling energy leaping off TBPoH, it’s true that Gwar have honed their sound to an art. If, the last time someone offered you a hug, you punched them in the dick, I’d certainly recommend it, you angry angry badger.

6ish/10.

Twaddlefish

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The World Is Quite Different Now

November 19, 2010

This isn’t a new post, but rather something I posted on an old blog nearly a year ago. It may just seem to be sheer laziness that has driven me to ‘republish it’ but I felt it expressed what I was saying yesterday in a less aggressive way. I also still feel it’s a valid argument. No, this won’t be happening a lot.

 

With the advent of social networking the idea of your personal life staying personal quickly became an oxymoron. These days with the likes of Facebook, Twitter and Friends Reunited its become increasing easy to find out things about people and to feel like you ‘know them’ despite having met them only once or sometimes not at all. There’s something weirdly esoteric about updating your ‘status’ or telling everyone ‘Whats on your mind?’ I’m not trying to deny that I use both Facebook and Twitter or that I’m somehow ‘holy than thou’ because of what I think (as is often how blogs can seem to be) but rather that in the last 5 years the idea and thrill of waiting to see someone to find out what they’ve been upto for the last [insert amount of time] and ‘catch up’. True we don’t share anything and everything with the wider world but at times it feels like we do.

At the end of every year there’s always a mass of ‘Best of’ lists that appear which attempt to summarise the last year in less than 300 words and try to make us wonder ‘what it would have been like had it not happened’ well…at least that’s how it can make me feel, with the end of last year and the ‘end of the decade’ there were lists cropping up everywhere telling us ‘what we didn’t have in ’99 but we do in ’09’ and some make for vaguely interesting reading. True we didn’t have social networking, Wikipedia or bluetooth ten years ago but what we do have is a world that is constantly shrinking and is being reduced steadily to a series of ones and zeros. Everything is becoming about ‘numbers’ and numbers can ultimately be described in binary and therefore become just a matrix of two different numbers.
What fascinates me most though is the seeming obsession with letting people know what you’re doing at this moment. right now. here. Me? I’m writing a blog entry. Ok so I’m not doing it as you’re there reading it but right now I’m talking to ‘you’ in the future, this post isn’t even finished yet but I’m still acting like you’re reading it as I type. Facebook has changed the way we act, now photos are all about embarrassing pictures of you dancing/drunk/singing and dancing whilst drunk/throwing up in the gutter when drunk/passed about when drunk (delete as appropriate).
I’m sure I was going somewhere when I started this……goodness knows where I’ve ended up though. Ah well I’ve probably said all that needs to be said, I’m feeling quite existentialist right now. It’s a good feeling has to be said, certainly feel better than I did twenty minutes ago. I’m just clutching at straws now.
Mr Bogle

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Technology is out to get us…

November 18, 2010

Skynet is real and we’re all gonna die.

…and we’re all fucked. How you say? Well for a start #IAmSpartacus just thought we’d get that out the way. If you’re one of those twats who claim that they deliberately ignore social networking because ‘it’s gonna kill us all’ piss off and get a job. I just wanted to make it clear that I am the dude who actually threatened to blow up Robin Hood Airport. The other guy was just covering. He owned me a favour after I brought him a pint… shame it all got so out of hand.

I picked up my Uni’s local ‘Rag’ (I prefer toilet roll myself) but names aside. It contained various idiots sprouting bullshit from every orifice imaginable. This is included some choice pickings; including a review of Todd Phillips’ latest shit film (he’s the guy who made ‘The Hangover’) and before you say anything, I HATED that movie, just terrible, misogynistic bollocks.  But if you want to hear anyone on just why it’s really not worth the time of day I suggest Dr Kermode’s diagnosis. ‘Due Date’ (that’s the new one by the way) just from the trailer looks awful.  Honestly, first time I saw it I turned to my other half and said ‘well that looks shit’ trust me, I really did. ‘Bromance’ isn’t funny.

The second was the words ‘awesome 3D’ used in connection to the cinema really made me realise just how worried I am about ‘3D’ I mean when you’re getting is either bodily fluids, stupid bits of body parts, boobs or whatever else gets thrown out at us. I mean face it Avatar was really bad, just really really bad. Boring, unoriginal and vacuous. I’d much rather go see ‘Papa Smurf’s Sex Tape’ than sit through another screening of ‘Dances with Wolves in Space’.

The question now is what’s next? Am I going to go to see ‘Pirates Of The Caribbean 4’ where Johnny Depp is going to donn his gloves from ‘Edward Scissorhands’ reach out and slice my head off for real? I’m very scared and would warn anyone against it. It’ll be a fucking massacre.

Final thing, the ‘rag’ also listed ‘DVD we’re most looking forward to’ as… no not Toy Story 3 or Inception… but Sex and (the fucking) City 2! I mean COME ON! I LET YOU HAVE THE REST BUT REALLY!!!!!!

Phew, rant over.

Mr Bogle

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Michael Monroe – Another Night In The Sun/Live In Helsinki

November 12, 2010

Monroe has been fronting Hanoi Rocks since it’s inception, and has been the driving force behind their 2002 reunion with the killer 12 Shots On The Rocks.  ANITS is live from Helsinki and features Ginger from The Wildhearts on guitar and Sami Yaffa, a previous H-Rocker, on bass.

And if you do like Hanoi Rocks, you’ll be very happy, as a fair part of the set list is made up of their material. What you have on offer is a nice helping of sleazy glam rock from the early 1980s, with anthems like Back To Mystery City and Malibu Beach Nightmare. I really dislike reviewing live albums, because by and large you comment on the actual performance rather than the actual material, aside from setlist objections. The playing is perfectly good, Monroe sounds as good as he did back ten years ago, and the band sound exactly the kind of thing you’d go to a sweaty, dark shithole of a club to go and see.

ANITS oozes sex, drugs and rock n’ roll, all of which Monroe has had plenty of in his career. While his solo career will never achieve the dream of mega-stardom he’s always wanted, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a belter of hard rock band playing dirty blues like Dead, Jail or Rock N’ Roll.

6/10

Twaddlefish

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Prop19- A Big Change for all of us

November 5, 2010

Potentially the fate of the dope smoking population will be change in the next coming weeks with the Bill; Proposition 19. What happens in California will affect all of us, especially since we English look much cooler if we go along with whatever decision the U.S. makes, cause son I ain’t bein’ funny, but that Iraq war made us look the shiznaz (ooooooo ain’t I clever using political humor, praises to me!). Though just to clear things up, I know that this is a site for music, but music and dope go hand in hand like Cheech and Chong (pre and post break up (break up in a career sense not in a gay way, we can’t condone everything (Joke!)). If you have any ideological complaints about smoking dope then that is fine, no one is forcing you to smoke it (in the same way no one is forcing you to hang with the cool kids) you make your own choices in life that’s  what lifting these ridunkolous laws are all about, letting people make a choice, as well as a couple of other issues (I’ll get to them in my own sweet time).

If health is a concern, well I got some bad news for you, smoking and drinking are bad for you. I think it’s only me that knows this fact, but believe it or not the very things are precious government make a considerable profit on is eventually going to kill you, so it’s either all OK or none of it is. Many studies have shown that cannabis is nowhere near as harmful as tobacco and alcohol. If you look into the illegalizing of cannabis you’ll will find that health and morality weren’t a big factor in the illegalization of the drug.

“Reefer makes darkies think they’re as good as white men.”

“…the primary reason to outlaw marijuana is its effect on the degenerate races.”

“There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others.”
Actual quotes from the Harry Anslinger (A key player in the criminalization of cannabis, god bless him for fighting the good fight).

Back to the issue of that organized racket (music), there are many artist that are for the legalizing of weed, that you funky fresh kiddie winks   can get down with, for instance Dime Bag (although only way that I could of made that anymore obvious is by spelling it out for you), Sublime  (the members that are alive at least), Colt Jackson, Tenacious D,  Thunder Strook and many more, and if you pay by credit card I’ll provide Actors who are also for Legalizing it such as Seth Rogen, Jack Nicholson, Jennifer Aniston, Johnny Depp and many, many more.

Money is also taken out of the criminals back pocket and convenience is now in the hands of the dope fiends, truly a turn for the tables, as well as money pocketed off the revenue… oh sorry literally just got word through and apparently Prop19 is a no go. Nothing changes the Californian social experiment isn’t going to happen so go about you lives as per usual.

Although there was still a fair percentage that voted yes, so although immediate change didn’t happen, the future of the wonder crop is still uncertain.

Should probably rap up with something about music ermmm… oh it was Tom Petty’s 60th birthday recently (wait who the fuck is Tom Petty).

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Doro Pesch! 25 Years of the Warlock

November 4, 2010

Not that I like to brag, but Doro Pesch called me this afternoon. I’d missed her at Bloodstock because my phone decided it had better things to do other than work. Nevertheless, here we are on a gloomy November afternoon to have a chat.

“We’ve been going 27 years and it’s the first time you’ve seen us?” asks Doro, as we get straight down to business and talk about the tour. I probably shouldn’t mention the fact that I was born in 1986. “We’ve just come back from Japan, we had an amazing time and it’s such a great place to go and visit. We’ll be about again around Christmas time with Motorhead in Europe, but not England sadly”

The 25th Anniversary show took place in December 2008, in Dusseldorf. The new DVD, 25 Years in Rock hits shelves at the end of the month which includes a three hour concert with guest appearances from someone of the many high-fliers Doro has worked with over the years; “There are so  many of my friends on there who made this night very special for me! I asked Klaus Meine (of Scorpions) if he could do it and he said he’d look in his schedule but I didn’t hear back so I assumed he couldn’t do it. But I was so happy when he said he could! There are so many other great people too, Tarja Turunen, Bobbi Blitz, Warrel Dane. We met him when we toured with Megadeth and Sanctuary in the US back in the 1980s”.

Admitting to having sixteen records over four decades, there is a wealth of material to draw on for live shows, including the experimental albums in the 90s, foraying into experimental and rockier territory. “When we only have a sixty minute festival show, it’s really hard to sometimes pick the ones you want to do, so we go for the really big songs like All We Are and Burning The Witches. We love playing these songs so much, even when we came to England in 1986 on the True As Steel tour and played Castle Donington, we never get tired of playing these songs. And the newer stuff is a lot heavier so we can play that. It’s what most fans want to hear, and we do it for them!” Mentioning the eighties, I bring up the jump of model career to being a metal queen. “That never happened! People keep saying this and it’s on the DVD cover I think too, but I was never a model. No, I started singing when I was three years old and I loved it! I eventually got into a band called Snakebite in 1980 and then I eventually joined Warlock and we got a deal with a Belgian record label to release Burning The Witches. It was very strange, there was no metal press in Germany really. The UK had Kerrang, but the only real thing in Germany was stuff that people were photocopying and handwriting, and it wasn’t until a few years later when in 1986 we suddenly had a succesful album. I was a graphic artist, and told my boss I was quitting and he said I was mad! But that year we went on tour with my favourite band, Judas Priest. It’s all I’ve ever want to do, since I was three!”

“When I first began singing in metal, there was already many women singing in rock and metal bands at the time. My absolute favourite was Jody Turner from Rock Goddess, if you remember them?” Well, I was born in 1986. “Haha, but yes they were great and many others, Lita Ford and Joan Jett. And these days there are many others doing different things like Tarja and Sabina Classen, so it wasn’t really that very different. And obviously Girlschool as well, they came and played at the 25 years show”. Interestingly, Motorhead, who are taking Doro on tour, were the only band that’d take Girlschool on tour, on account of others refusing because of the all-girl lineup. “I’m really looking forward to the tour, really sorry we’re not coming to England! I love the English fans so much and we were here last year with Saxon and we had so much fun. But no, after that we’re going to South America for a tour”.  Any news on a follow-up album? “Well, we’ve started thinking about it. We have a couple of ideas that are floating around and we know what we want…some really heavy songs, then some dark gothic ballads, like what we’ve done before.”

But as for current events, it’s no secret that First Lady of heavy metal is thrilled about her upcoming release. “It’s out November 26th and it has so many great things on. We played for three hours and then there’s a documentary and interviews with some of my great friends saying so many wonderful things. Have you seen it yet? No? Well, you should because it’s really great. I love the artwork as well, it’s by an Englishman who lives in France called [someone tell me his name, I didn’t catch it!] and he did this great artwork for the music. When we did the orchestral album we had a very simple black and white photo that was really suited to the music, but this new cover is just what the music needs!”

So, there we have it folks. Doro Pesch, the undisputed queen of metal is still going strong after nearly thirty years. Look at it this way, you can tour the world and make awesome albums, but a door to door salesman will still come and interrupt your interviews.

Twaddlefish