Posts Tagged ‘Hideous Miscreation’


Your Basic “Best of 2009” list…

January 2, 2010

So yeah, I realize that Best of Lists are now so commonplace and cliche that even the most un-self aware blogs and websites are now also recognizing this, yet still making them (much like I just did). But anyhow, there’s something that’s just so satisfying about both reading and making lists that when an opportunity like this arises you have to jump at the chance. In fact, arbitrary lists are pretty much the bread and butter of blogs the world over, so a (semi) legitimate reason like “end of the year”, is like a Christmas present (come at roughly the normal time) to us. To keep things fresh I also added some silly shit at the end too. So here are my top 10 albums of 2009, in ascending order. I cordially invite people to disagree in the comments as always. Enjoy.

Best Albums of 2009

10: Dying Fetus – Descent Into Depravity

Dying Fetus have always consistently churned out strong solid death metal, not too simple or technical, with some pro songwriting and some absolutely sublime mosh parts and infectious grooves. This album’s critical acclaim and warm reception was no surprise to me at all. Crisp production, some great low growls, and everything you would expect. No leap forward, but definitely none back. True to the sound without stagnating.

Dying Fetus helped pioneer the “dog barking next to a typewriter” aesthetic, and after all these years they still sound as relevant as ever, refusing to be dated. They bark and type as proficiently as the best, but in the end it’s just about writing competant, brutal, death metal. As worthy an addition to a CD collection as any of their other impressive releases in one of the most consistent careers in the scene.

9: Oceano – Depths

The “Mariana Trench” album. The title suits it like none other, as listening to this one actually feels like slowly descending into a massive abyss. Probably the most chuggy album on the list, and the second most de-tuned. What it lacks in speed, it makes up for in size, and a general aura of massiveness. Adam Warrens vocals are impressively low and his growls, squeals, and all the noises inbetween twist and turn with all the other low frequencies to become one heavy as hell entity. Sounds tight and crisp, with an unrelenting barrage of breakdowns and haunting dark melodies. The drawback is that it doesn’t feel all that relevant in the context of my insignificant life, but if I ever find myself deep sea diving, I’ll be sure to wap it on my zen. Does exactly what the title says.

This Picture is how listening to Depths made me feel

8: Here Comes The Kraken – Here Comes The Kraken

Here comes the Kraken are a little known Mexican deathcore band, who all look like Christiano Ronaldo, and play some hella tight technical music. This is their only album, and being all Mexican and poor the production isn’t that great, but damn son! I just love how their songs shred! Breakneck blastbeats, and two extremely proficient guitarists weaving in and out of each other, shredding, tremming, sweeping all kinds of awesome melodies and breakdowns. Also some great melodeath-esque solos that hark back to the genres late nineties/early nauties peak in the stuff.  There’s also some unexpected but very tasteful use of clean guitar towards the end of the album. Even the bass shows plenty of innovation, and hell, sometimes even takes the spotlight.

The songs are extremely well written for the most part, finding a decent use of brutality, melody and timing to keep things interesting. Sometimes the extremely frequent sweeping gets a tad old, but generally there’s enough else in there to keep it all good. The talent and promise in this band is staggering, I can’t wait to hear them with better production and some new songs. Would be just as comfortable supporting Children of Bodom as Despised Icon.

Deathcore wiggers: now as far afoot as Mexico, note the All Shall Perish Basketball Jersey

7: Your Demise – Ignorance Never Dies

There are few things more fun to the average human being than to forget all about expectations and pretensions usually imposed and let rip with whatever kind of shit you want. And that’s what this CD is, a fuck all else and just mosh the shit out of everything CD. Not too technical or intelligent, just brutal, moshy, well written hardcore. Ripping at the seams with attitude and a self empowerment vibe that is all too often jilted by the cynical majority. Listen to intro “Ignorance Never Dies” into opener “Burnt Tongues” and try not to hit something. I dare you. The random dub step interludes are also extremely welcome and unexpected, and add a gritty urban vibe to the feeling. Heartfelt and violent.

6: The Black Dahlia Murder – Deflourate

I find it hard to accuse The Black Dahlia Murder of any wrong doing, as everything they’ve ever put out has been of consistently high quality. They have a formula, and they’ve stuck to it through the years, seeing an increasingly high return and reputation for it. This CD is everything you’d expect them to be, drums as precise as an atomic clock, with hella catchy melodic riffs infecting every grove. Induction of ex-Arsis guitarist Ryan Knight has added a much higher quality of guitar solo than previously too, bringing their formula that much closer to perfection.

5: Despised Icon – Day Of Mourning

Everyone’s favorite French Canadian Deathcore wiggers are back. After the success of “The Ills of Modern Man”, many were skeptical of the success of the followup, but the ‘Icon, have gone from strength to strength. The first three tracks, “Le Temps a Changent”, “Day of Mourning”, and “MVP”, are three of the best deathcore songs I’ve ever heard. And the rest of the album is still consistently very high quality. The drums are the highlight as always with Despised Icon, Alex Grind needs more respect man! Technical and fast as anything the death metal camp can muster up. The breakdowns and time changes are so precise and together they make a military procession seem undisciplined.

4: Viraemia – Viraemia

I have to admit that I was feeling very in the cold towards technical death metal this year. So many boring as hell bands arbitrarily treming and throwing in a few generic sweeps all over the shop, some standard blastbeats and maybe some forced irregular time signature. Everyone’s become so good at everything now that technical just becomes boring, especially when most bands of the genre have absolutely no sense of attitude or songwriting whatsoever.

I was all ready to write off Viraemia in a similar fashion when I heard about them on paper. Tech death, widdly as fuck with a gimmick like a 10 string bassist, and nerdy with a load of silly song names that I have no idea what they mean. However, the wonderful thing is that they can still write sick death metal. There are still awesome riffs in there, awesome changes in pace and mood, and quite a nice range in vocals too, instead of a constant low growl that most tech death seems to favor. Surprised me, and I enjoy it all the more for that.

3: brokeNCYDE – I’m Not a Fan But The Kids Like It

There’s no way I can discount this album, after having soundtracked so many awesome moments to my year. Such a good bro down party CD. Silly as hell and universally hated, but at the same time really enjoyable, if you can just clean your mind and put any prejudices aside for long enough. I also felt I had to throw some kind of wild card into the list. I was a bit disappointed with the sound of the new recording of “Freaxxx”, but at the same time songs like “Skeet Skeet”, “Scene Girls”, and “Booty Call” more than made up for it. Strangely original, incredibly vulgar and brash, and in general fun as hell.

2: Devourment – Unleash The Carnivore

Scooping in just in time to make the list, the heavyness of this album can’t be ignored. Tight, heavy, more brutal than anything you’ve ever heard, and with some absolutely bowl voiding slam riffs. From the intro growl it feels like a beating, in the best possible way. Everyone else is pretending to be heavy, compared to Devourment. Like I originally said, “The” definitive slam record, and a genre defining classic.

1: The Boy Will Drown – Fetish

I have no idea what genre The Boy Will Drown are, but fuck they shred. Even though they are only a modest one guitarist four piece, everything is so hectic and busy that you’ll ask yourself is it really just four dudes? Anyway, their spazzy metal exhibits probably the best songwriting I’ve heard all year, with some absolute killers like “Deepthroat”, “Suis La Luna” and “Dead Girls”. Heartfelt and emotional, yet really twisted and heavy, in an almost creepy way. With possibly the best variation, transitions and general intensity in mood I’ve heart all year, this CD, despite very little press or anything is definitely worth a check. Tasteful use of clean guitar, every instrument to an absolutely incredible standard, and just a ridiculous amount of depth and intensity for just 4 dudes from the South of England. I can’t wait for the follow up.

Miscellaneous Accolades

This section is full of all the jokey, sometimes negative “awards”, i threw in to make it look like I don’t take things too seriously.

Worst Album: Night Electric Night – Deathstars

Hell, this thing still makes me shiver at night. The awkwardly forced vocals, pretentious Gothic whispering absolutely everywhere, the slow decline in anything resembling a band to be replaced with orchestral by numbers parts and samples. There wasn’t really much here not to hate. As I predicted, the album is loved by chubby goth girls and such, and largely ignored/despised by all else. However, that is still quite a large significant market, so props to thee. You still look like faggots though.

Most Amusing Event: Emmure/The Acacia Strain fisticuffs

I love it when metal bands support their image of being badasses, as oppose to just being the nerdy guys the usually are. Just about all other genres ever seem to be more dramatic/eventful/violent than metal, which is quite disappointing seeing as how metal’s meant to be evil or some shit. Reggae festivals are meant to be dark violent places, full of stabbings and theft, wheras metal fests: middle class white kids as far as the eye can see complaining about sun burn.

The fight was probably not all that formidable, but I like to Imagine that a breakdown started playing from nowhere to soundtrack this momentous event.

Most Amusing New Trend: Crunkcore

Dot Dot Curve 🙂

While the world was busy going mad about the sheer existence of crunkcore, most of the bands were probably too busy scoring underage scene girls to really care. With a genius mix of auto tune and screams, with silly club beats, ridiculously bad lyrics, and lots of bright colours, those of us who weren’t seething with rage at the existence of something they don’t like were easily won over by crunkcore’s charms. Plus all chicks secretly love it, even if they won’t admit it at first.

I know it kind of existed before 2009, but that was the year it went viral.  First came the video for “Freaxxx”, which featured brokeNCYDE looking uncomfortable performing next to a car and a dozen or so reasonable chicks, and led to thousands of blogs linking the video and complaining about how the generation had “gone to shit”, then BOOM! The album hit the billboard 200 at 86, and groups like Dot Dot Curve, Millionaires, Breathe Carolina, and Hollywood Undead suddenly came to prominence. The funnest thing to happen this year, and a snapshot of my summer.

Biggest c*** of the Year: Donald Campan – Waking The Cadaver

Donald Campan (right), with some NJ pudscrote

The well known and much respected blog, Metal Inquisition, coined the idea of the trend Wigger Slam, when they noticed that quite a few slam metal and death metal bands had begun dressing more like white rappers than traditional long hair and black clothes. They perpetuated this idea with many posts affectionately mocking the trend and its population. Then, in an article written for Decibel magazine, one of the blog’s contributors, with the moniker Sargent D, named Waking the Cadaver as an example of Wigger Slam. Donald, singer of WTC, heard about this and got all pissy about being called a Wigger in a magazine. Sargent D sent him a Myspace message to apologize, and let him know that it was all in good fun and not to take it seriously.

Donald responded by writing this absolute gem of a response:


RE: metal inquisition


listen geek,

your the one taking things so seriously, with your website dedicated to bitching and moaning about bands…your obviously a homosexual because your so concerned with how GUYS dress….and I seriously doubt you’ll come to a show, as a matter of fact, I seriously doubt you go to any shows because your the type to sit behind a computer whining and complaining about how bands aren’t good enough for your level of “metal”… sure your just a aging loser with nothing better to do in your life than be concerned with the way guys dress. you even proved it by writing a message saying “i used to wear XXX nautica t-shirts.”….let me tell you internet fagit, we don’t even listen to rap, and we don’t wear nautica shirts so we have NOTHING in common. all your proving is that your a TREND SURFER.

We were never aware of your blog until your grapevine buddy at decibel mag told us about your blog. you are a pure INTERNET FAGGIT…and quite simply, without knowing what you look like, we can sense your physical inferiority, and don’t try to respond with some “i watch ufc george pierre” bullshit…cuz that shit is just amateur. your old, probably have years of drug abuse under your belt, and would get assaulted easily.

don’t bother responding…we don’t talk to gays

Aside from the obvious angry douchitivity and glaring grammar and spelling errors, the message is a glistening monument to internet tough guy attitude and has some fantastic moments that rival the classic “Say that to my face fucker not online and see what happens”. Some of my favorite moments include:

“you are a pure INTERNET FAGGIT”

“quite simply, without knowing what you look like, we can sense your physical inferiority”

“would get assaulted easily.”

“don’t bother responding…we don’t talk to gays”


Best Video: Day Of Mourning – Despised Icon

As a pretty good followup to the notes on “Wigger Slam”, despised Icon are another such band perpetuating the trend with some truly world class wigger threads and arm movements. The trend is proving quite controversial thus far, if youtube commenters are anything to go by….

Whats up with like rappers acting like skaters and white people screaming acting like black people,I am not racist but in the video “Your A Jerk”… there like wearing tight pants and wearing devil wears prada t shirts…I HATE THIS BAND NOW! !FUCKING WIGGERS” – A classic use of “I’m not racist but…”

I KNOW…. I FUCKING HATE WIGGERS make white ppl look bad” – This guy’s a bit more out the closet with his racism.

the music is so cool, but all the bullshit tough guy rap/hardcore posturing is weak as fuck.

shut the fuck up Canadian wigger trash. Soulja Boy wanna be core loving bitch. Black metal shits on this and your polo

yeah great song, despised icon style! but i hate the singers clothes… as you say heavymetla666, it looks like a hiphop video which i really can’t stand…

I like the song but it looks like some stupid rap video and also they have those stupid hats on which is really annoying me.

I like this band but why they acting like rappers

So there we go! more proof, if any were needed that Metal fans fear change!

I personally find the video’s depiction of an “alternative funeral” as amusing as ever, and my love of wiggers makes it even better!

Fashion Symbol of the Year:  The New Era Cap

2009 truly was the year of the wigger trend in metal apparently! This one has exploded this year onto not only slam metal and deathcore bands but almost everyone in metal! Check band photos and you’re almost guaranteed to see at least one person repping one, sticker intact usually. A special mention goes to that All Shall Perish basketball vest, which also seems to appear on many a band photo. There are even 2 of them hidden in this article!

Chillest Bro: Ben McCrow – The Rotted

After having interviewed him and chilled with him at bloodstock this year, I can confirm that he is a down to earth, upstanding hella mass tight chill bro.

Young Upstarts: Hideous Miscreation

This band added me on youtube, and since then I still check back to hear their jamz. Competent modern death metal, in the vein of Beneath the Massacre, Job For A Cowboy and Ingested, with some absolutely sick vocals, no doubt their highest accolade. The singer does some weird gargly noise I’ve never heard before, and as well as that both low and high screams like a champ. Some thoughtful and catchy guitarwork too, and sick drumming too. Brutal as shit, with powerful songwriting to back it up. I hope they make it big soon, so I can see them and participate in decent sized pits.

So there’s your year. I’m still kina hung over from the new year celebrations, and as a meaningful send into the year have also shaved my head. Hope you had as good a night as I did, macking on scene chicks before passing out mid sentence :), now who knows what new trends, albums and hilarious metal events 2-oh-10 will bring.