Posts Tagged ‘The Rotted’


Getting Pumped: The Heavy Metal Jock Jamz

March 8, 2010

Although it is true that I listen to metal probably more than any other genre, am easily identifiable by various band tees sporting unreadable logos, and could easily be pigeonholed into the “metalhead” demograph, unlike the rest of you I am a neither over nor underweight physically healthy human being that looks after his body on the regular, with a strict gym routine and a healthy diet. As those few of you who have also experienced physical exertion will know, metal is a great inspirer when it comes to pushing those last few reps out of you, and for this reason I have compiled several “Jock Jamz” playlists for this very purpose. Follow my lead, get the fuck up, and I’ll have you going from Dino Cazares to Greg Puciato in no time!

Here is my ultimate metal Jock Jamz playlist for blasting myself after a long days studying/procrastination!

Despised Icon – In The Arms of Perdition

Why do you think you always get a few really ripped hardcore kids throwing down at every Despised Icon show? Breakdowns push you son! This song, as well as being first on the playlist, is also probably the best for the task, and its easy to see why. Immaculately produced, heavy as fuck, some sick bass heavy tones, and enough time changes to keep you on your toes. The beginning gets you pumped, the two-step riff at 2:04 provides a fresh wave of inspiration just as you’re starting to tire, and the breakdown at the end squeezes just that last bit of perspiration from you.

Push it!! Moment: 3:37, Chuga Chug Chug……….

Ingested – Skinned and Fucked

Ingested are one of the heaviest bands out there right now, based around the inhuman double bass barrage of drummer Jeff Lyn. This song is like the intro to Saving Private Ryan on surround sound, complete with commander barking orders at you. Like In The Arms of Perdition, heavy as hell, not much above bass frequency, but with muddier guitar tone that almost completely reduces it to the barrage of clicking from the Bass Drum.

Push it!! Moment: 0:26, just as it all cuts out and the guitar leads by trem into an awesome slower time slam riff (with ridiculously fast clicky bass drum too, for good measure)

Out For Blood – Keep No Cunt Alive

This is the only song I have by this band, and I’m not that keen to hear any more, as they probably get boring very quickly, but as an all out, straight forward, brutal assault, this song pretty much hits it on the head. Not too fast, simple structure and instrumentals, and an absolutely manic sounding vocalist, with a lead riff that makes you feel like the most badass motherfucker for miles around!

Push it!! Moment: The baddass intro riff!

The Rotted – Nothin’ But A Nosebleed

Bring the tempo back up to fever pitch again, with another blast fest at inhuman speeds, and Ben McCrow’s barking vocals!

Push it!! Moment: 2:02, just as the blasts kick in again after the slow bridge, and reminds you that the pain is far from over!

Pantera – Strength Beyond Strength

Pantera remains to this day pretty much the ultimate jock metal band (along with maybe Hatebreed), and this song is a great reminder why. To be honest, just the sound of Phil Anselmo talking would provide enough jock power to make a whole playlist, although his “get the fuck up” inspiring shouts on this song are perfectly adequate too.

Push it!! Moment: 0:49 rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

Nasum – Relics

The perfect mix of speed and groove that makes a jock jam! Plus a great simple chorus, with one of those chord progressions that just works, and gets you fuckin’ juiced!

Push it!! Moment: 1:51 Something about the sound of metal and gunfire just gets me. Subsequent chorus also helps

Hatebreed – I Will Be Heard

Yeah, you could probably do this whole thing with just Hatebreed and Pantera, such is their shouty Jock credence. Plus considering how Hatebreed are pretty much just a long message of “believe in yourself and give them hell”, with less of a self-hatred vibe than Pantera, it’s easy to see why they fit so well in this setting.

Push it!! Moment: The choruses, any of them.

The Acacia Strain – Forget Me Now

Ahhh, more of this brilliant deep sounding simple hardcore, with emphasis on the chug instead of the speed, and a feeling of hatred for all things. One of the most negatively inspiring chorus’ ever (in a “I will fucking destroy you all” kind of way, instead of a “I can do this”, Rocky, Eye Of The Tiger, kind of way).

Push it!! Moment: 2:08 After the breakdown slows things right down, then the chorus flings you right back up again!

Emmure – Sound Wave Superior

Considering they sound just like The Acacia Strain, you can see why. Pretty much a one note song, but they definitely know how to use that one note!

Push it!! Moment: 0:42 He says “Get out”, but it sounds like “Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill……” so this is what I mutter.

Mnemic – Liquid

Unusually technical next to the majority of the simple-minded brutal fare here, making it a great change and something to reinvigorate your efforts. For some reason, mixes of clean and screamed vocals provide some great Jock moments, and once again the chorus here does just that. The impossible to follow bizarrely timed riffs will also take your mind of the burning lactic acid feeling.

Push it!! Moment: Once again, a song carried by the jock it quality of the chorus.

Gutted With Broken Glass – Ramrod

Although Gutted With Broken Glass are essentially just a messy joke, there is little I’ve ever heard more brutally pleasing than the breakdown in the middle.

Push it!! Moment: 0:27, Dun Dun Dun….Dun Dun…..Dundundun dun dun! Dun Dun Dun……breeebreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Killswitch Engage – Life To Lifeless

Vintage Killswitch. While the stuff with Howard Jones is still good and plenty inspiring, it lacks the real heaviness that the stuff with their old vocalist had, and thus isn’t as suitable, maybe a little too ghey for a Jock Jamz list.

Push it!! Moment: The beginning. Love that punchy tone.

Annotations of An Autopsy – In Snakes I Bathe

Although I used to include Gore Gore Gadget in pretty much every Gym playlist, it kina dragged on a bit and by the end had lost most of it’s punch. Not the case with the opener from AOAA’s competent new album The Reign Of Darkness. Ticks all the boxes for a good Jock Jam; Powerful, fast opening? Check, Bassy as fuck? Check, Well placed time changes to coax out a new wave of effort from you? Check. Breakdowns? Check. Feeling that you’re supper baddass when you hear it? Check.

Push it!! Moment: 0:50 hammer precision triplets after an equally well executed half time.

The Black Dahlia Murder – Closed Casket Requiem

Sometimes some good old stylee melodic metalcore can be just the thing to power you on towards the end of a session. This is probably the most simple BDM song, being right from their beginning. It has about 2 riffs too it, and the band obviously thought they’d come up with 2 doozys, because they pretty much milk them for all they’re worth throughout. Theres a kind of generic guitar harmony bridge in the middle too, which puts you off for a while, before the good old 2 riffs we’d leant to love come smashing back and make you push the fucking limit!

Push it!! Moment: Dunno, it’s all good i guess.

Devourment – Incitement to Mass Murder

Slam and working out go hand in hand. All those low notes, bowl voiding slamminess, and constant back and forth between gravity blasts and uber-slow breakdowns just make a well crafted slam masterpiece perfect for the gym. Something about the carnal nature of Majewski’s growls also seems to help me.

Push it!! Moment: 0:57 That behemoth of a slam riff is probably the closest you can get through a musical medium to a giant Austrian personal trainer shouting in your ear. So slow yet so fucking heavy!!!

Pathology – Defiled Autopsy Remnants

Getting back to the opening themes of “Heavy as fuck” we find ourselves now with a slap of expert goregrind. An honest lack of bassist makes it sometimes feel slightly empty compared to some of the other songs here on the jamz, but luckily there’s enough pro one guitar technical riffage to more than make up for that. There are at least 3 fuck yeah! push it moments, when another gore splattered riff hits out of nowhere in an unexpected time change.

Push it!! Moment: 2:30 that riff and accompanying growl makes me want to beat some trendy fuck in the weight room’s face in with a barbell untill there’s nothing but red mush!

Your Demise – Ignorance Never Dies/Burnt Tongues

The intro, Ignorance Never Dies, is the perfect build up to the hardcore rage unleashed at the opening of Burnt Tongues, and indeed is hard to get through without wanting to smash something. Like Hatebreed, it’s effectiveness lies in the simplicity, and primal break stuff vibes.

Push it!! Moment: Beginning breakdown…”Tell me what you think of me!!!”

Suicide Silence – No Pity For A Coward

So this is pretty much one of the definitive Deathcore jamz, and for this reason is a perfect one to work out to! The filthy, angry, sweating vibe to it makes it a great one towards the end, when you’re really feeling the pull, and need Mitch to growl “You Cowaaaaarrrrrrrd!” in your face to squeeze out those vital last reps. Has a great feeling of finality as well, which really makes you want to make your last moments count.

Push it!! Moment: 2:32 “Pull the trigger bitch!”

Here Comes The Kraken – Don’t Fail Me Darko

I just fuckin’ love the epicness in this song! The melodies, while simple and kind of obvious, work perfectly when you’re too destroyed to care about how original something is. And while you’ve probably heard most of the tunes on display here before, I doubt you’ve heard them under such an intense barrage of blast beats and bass drum, which makes it even better to hammer yourself to. The solo towards the end, and subsequent finishing breakdowns, just like on “In The Arms of Perdition” where we started, will squeeze the very last out of you.

Push it!! Moment: The beginning. So dicking epic, but in a way thats’ obvious enough for it to hit you right away, like an injection of glucose!

In conclusion, it would appear that the best songs for jocking out to are those that are simple, brutal, contain at least two unexpected time changes to re-invigorate your efforts, switch from chuggy and heavy to fast and violent, are low as fuck, and break it down. Get Juiced, and then be ready to take on all comers in the pit!


Your Basic “Best of 2009” list…

January 2, 2010

So yeah, I realize that Best of Lists are now so commonplace and cliche that even the most un-self aware blogs and websites are now also recognizing this, yet still making them (much like I just did). But anyhow, there’s something that’s just so satisfying about both reading and making lists that when an opportunity like this arises you have to jump at the chance. In fact, arbitrary lists are pretty much the bread and butter of blogs the world over, so a (semi) legitimate reason like “end of the year”, is like a Christmas present (come at roughly the normal time) to us. To keep things fresh I also added some silly shit at the end too. So here are my top 10 albums of 2009, in ascending order. I cordially invite people to disagree in the comments as always. Enjoy.

Best Albums of 2009

10: Dying Fetus – Descent Into Depravity

Dying Fetus have always consistently churned out strong solid death metal, not too simple or technical, with some pro songwriting and some absolutely sublime mosh parts and infectious grooves. This album’s critical acclaim and warm reception was no surprise to me at all. Crisp production, some great low growls, and everything you would expect. No leap forward, but definitely none back. True to the sound without stagnating.

Dying Fetus helped pioneer the “dog barking next to a typewriter” aesthetic, and after all these years they still sound as relevant as ever, refusing to be dated. They bark and type as proficiently as the best, but in the end it’s just about writing competant, brutal, death metal. As worthy an addition to a CD collection as any of their other impressive releases in one of the most consistent careers in the scene.

9: Oceano – Depths

The “Mariana Trench” album. The title suits it like none other, as listening to this one actually feels like slowly descending into a massive abyss. Probably the most chuggy album on the list, and the second most de-tuned. What it lacks in speed, it makes up for in size, and a general aura of massiveness. Adam Warrens vocals are impressively low and his growls, squeals, and all the noises inbetween twist and turn with all the other low frequencies to become one heavy as hell entity. Sounds tight and crisp, with an unrelenting barrage of breakdowns and haunting dark melodies. The drawback is that it doesn’t feel all that relevant in the context of my insignificant life, but if I ever find myself deep sea diving, I’ll be sure to wap it on my zen. Does exactly what the title says.

This Picture is how listening to Depths made me feel

8: Here Comes The Kraken – Here Comes The Kraken

Here comes the Kraken are a little known Mexican deathcore band, who all look like Christiano Ronaldo, and play some hella tight technical music. This is their only album, and being all Mexican and poor the production isn’t that great, but damn son! I just love how their songs shred! Breakneck blastbeats, and two extremely proficient guitarists weaving in and out of each other, shredding, tremming, sweeping all kinds of awesome melodies and breakdowns. Also some great melodeath-esque solos that hark back to the genres late nineties/early nauties peak in the stuff.  There’s also some unexpected but very tasteful use of clean guitar towards the end of the album. Even the bass shows plenty of innovation, and hell, sometimes even takes the spotlight.

The songs are extremely well written for the most part, finding a decent use of brutality, melody and timing to keep things interesting. Sometimes the extremely frequent sweeping gets a tad old, but generally there’s enough else in there to keep it all good. The talent and promise in this band is staggering, I can’t wait to hear them with better production and some new songs. Would be just as comfortable supporting Children of Bodom as Despised Icon.

Deathcore wiggers: now as far afoot as Mexico, note the All Shall Perish Basketball Jersey

7: Your Demise – Ignorance Never Dies

There are few things more fun to the average human being than to forget all about expectations and pretensions usually imposed and let rip with whatever kind of shit you want. And that’s what this CD is, a fuck all else and just mosh the shit out of everything CD. Not too technical or intelligent, just brutal, moshy, well written hardcore. Ripping at the seams with attitude and a self empowerment vibe that is all too often jilted by the cynical majority. Listen to intro “Ignorance Never Dies” into opener “Burnt Tongues” and try not to hit something. I dare you. The random dub step interludes are also extremely welcome and unexpected, and add a gritty urban vibe to the feeling. Heartfelt and violent.

6: The Black Dahlia Murder – Deflourate

I find it hard to accuse The Black Dahlia Murder of any wrong doing, as everything they’ve ever put out has been of consistently high quality. They have a formula, and they’ve stuck to it through the years, seeing an increasingly high return and reputation for it. This CD is everything you’d expect them to be, drums as precise as an atomic clock, with hella catchy melodic riffs infecting every grove. Induction of ex-Arsis guitarist Ryan Knight has added a much higher quality of guitar solo than previously too, bringing their formula that much closer to perfection.

5: Despised Icon – Day Of Mourning

Everyone’s favorite French Canadian Deathcore wiggers are back. After the success of “The Ills of Modern Man”, many were skeptical of the success of the followup, but the ‘Icon, have gone from strength to strength. The first three tracks, “Le Temps a Changent”, “Day of Mourning”, and “MVP”, are three of the best deathcore songs I’ve ever heard. And the rest of the album is still consistently very high quality. The drums are the highlight as always with Despised Icon, Alex Grind needs more respect man! Technical and fast as anything the death metal camp can muster up. The breakdowns and time changes are so precise and together they make a military procession seem undisciplined.

4: Viraemia – Viraemia

I have to admit that I was feeling very in the cold towards technical death metal this year. So many boring as hell bands arbitrarily treming and throwing in a few generic sweeps all over the shop, some standard blastbeats and maybe some forced irregular time signature. Everyone’s become so good at everything now that technical just becomes boring, especially when most bands of the genre have absolutely no sense of attitude or songwriting whatsoever.

I was all ready to write off Viraemia in a similar fashion when I heard about them on paper. Tech death, widdly as fuck with a gimmick like a 10 string bassist, and nerdy with a load of silly song names that I have no idea what they mean. However, the wonderful thing is that they can still write sick death metal. There are still awesome riffs in there, awesome changes in pace and mood, and quite a nice range in vocals too, instead of a constant low growl that most tech death seems to favor. Surprised me, and I enjoy it all the more for that.

3: brokeNCYDE – I’m Not a Fan But The Kids Like It

There’s no way I can discount this album, after having soundtracked so many awesome moments to my year. Such a good bro down party CD. Silly as hell and universally hated, but at the same time really enjoyable, if you can just clean your mind and put any prejudices aside for long enough. I also felt I had to throw some kind of wild card into the list. I was a bit disappointed with the sound of the new recording of “Freaxxx”, but at the same time songs like “Skeet Skeet”, “Scene Girls”, and “Booty Call” more than made up for it. Strangely original, incredibly vulgar and brash, and in general fun as hell.

2: Devourment – Unleash The Carnivore

Scooping in just in time to make the list, the heavyness of this album can’t be ignored. Tight, heavy, more brutal than anything you’ve ever heard, and with some absolutely bowl voiding slam riffs. From the intro growl it feels like a beating, in the best possible way. Everyone else is pretending to be heavy, compared to Devourment. Like I originally said, “The” definitive slam record, and a genre defining classic.

1: The Boy Will Drown – Fetish

I have no idea what genre The Boy Will Drown are, but fuck they shred. Even though they are only a modest one guitarist four piece, everything is so hectic and busy that you’ll ask yourself is it really just four dudes? Anyway, their spazzy metal exhibits probably the best songwriting I’ve heard all year, with some absolute killers like “Deepthroat”, “Suis La Luna” and “Dead Girls”. Heartfelt and emotional, yet really twisted and heavy, in an almost creepy way. With possibly the best variation, transitions and general intensity in mood I’ve heart all year, this CD, despite very little press or anything is definitely worth a check. Tasteful use of clean guitar, every instrument to an absolutely incredible standard, and just a ridiculous amount of depth and intensity for just 4 dudes from the South of England. I can’t wait for the follow up.

Miscellaneous Accolades

This section is full of all the jokey, sometimes negative “awards”, i threw in to make it look like I don’t take things too seriously.

Worst Album: Night Electric Night – Deathstars

Hell, this thing still makes me shiver at night. The awkwardly forced vocals, pretentious Gothic whispering absolutely everywhere, the slow decline in anything resembling a band to be replaced with orchestral by numbers parts and samples. There wasn’t really much here not to hate. As I predicted, the album is loved by chubby goth girls and such, and largely ignored/despised by all else. However, that is still quite a large significant market, so props to thee. You still look like faggots though.

Most Amusing Event: Emmure/The Acacia Strain fisticuffs

I love it when metal bands support their image of being badasses, as oppose to just being the nerdy guys the usually are. Just about all other genres ever seem to be more dramatic/eventful/violent than metal, which is quite disappointing seeing as how metal’s meant to be evil or some shit. Reggae festivals are meant to be dark violent places, full of stabbings and theft, wheras metal fests: middle class white kids as far as the eye can see complaining about sun burn.

The fight was probably not all that formidable, but I like to Imagine that a breakdown started playing from nowhere to soundtrack this momentous event.

Most Amusing New Trend: Crunkcore

Dot Dot Curve 🙂

While the world was busy going mad about the sheer existence of crunkcore, most of the bands were probably too busy scoring underage scene girls to really care. With a genius mix of auto tune and screams, with silly club beats, ridiculously bad lyrics, and lots of bright colours, those of us who weren’t seething with rage at the existence of something they don’t like were easily won over by crunkcore’s charms. Plus all chicks secretly love it, even if they won’t admit it at first.

I know it kind of existed before 2009, but that was the year it went viral.  First came the video for “Freaxxx”, which featured brokeNCYDE looking uncomfortable performing next to a car and a dozen or so reasonable chicks, and led to thousands of blogs linking the video and complaining about how the generation had “gone to shit”, then BOOM! The album hit the billboard 200 at 86, and groups like Dot Dot Curve, Millionaires, Breathe Carolina, and Hollywood Undead suddenly came to prominence. The funnest thing to happen this year, and a snapshot of my summer.

Biggest c*** of the Year: Donald Campan – Waking The Cadaver

Donald Campan (right), with some NJ pudscrote

The well known and much respected blog, Metal Inquisition, coined the idea of the trend Wigger Slam, when they noticed that quite a few slam metal and death metal bands had begun dressing more like white rappers than traditional long hair and black clothes. They perpetuated this idea with many posts affectionately mocking the trend and its population. Then, in an article written for Decibel magazine, one of the blog’s contributors, with the moniker Sargent D, named Waking the Cadaver as an example of Wigger Slam. Donald, singer of WTC, heard about this and got all pissy about being called a Wigger in a magazine. Sargent D sent him a Myspace message to apologize, and let him know that it was all in good fun and not to take it seriously.

Donald responded by writing this absolute gem of a response:


RE: metal inquisition


listen geek,

your the one taking things so seriously, with your website dedicated to bitching and moaning about bands…your obviously a homosexual because your so concerned with how GUYS dress….and I seriously doubt you’ll come to a show, as a matter of fact, I seriously doubt you go to any shows because your the type to sit behind a computer whining and complaining about how bands aren’t good enough for your level of “metal”… sure your just a aging loser with nothing better to do in your life than be concerned with the way guys dress. you even proved it by writing a message saying “i used to wear XXX nautica t-shirts.”….let me tell you internet fagit, we don’t even listen to rap, and we don’t wear nautica shirts so we have NOTHING in common. all your proving is that your a TREND SURFER.

We were never aware of your blog until your grapevine buddy at decibel mag told us about your blog. you are a pure INTERNET FAGGIT…and quite simply, without knowing what you look like, we can sense your physical inferiority, and don’t try to respond with some “i watch ufc george pierre” bullshit…cuz that shit is just amateur. your old, probably have years of drug abuse under your belt, and would get assaulted easily.

don’t bother responding…we don’t talk to gays

Aside from the obvious angry douchitivity and glaring grammar and spelling errors, the message is a glistening monument to internet tough guy attitude and has some fantastic moments that rival the classic “Say that to my face fucker not online and see what happens”. Some of my favorite moments include:

“you are a pure INTERNET FAGGIT”

“quite simply, without knowing what you look like, we can sense your physical inferiority”

“would get assaulted easily.”

“don’t bother responding…we don’t talk to gays”


Best Video: Day Of Mourning – Despised Icon

As a pretty good followup to the notes on “Wigger Slam”, despised Icon are another such band perpetuating the trend with some truly world class wigger threads and arm movements. The trend is proving quite controversial thus far, if youtube commenters are anything to go by….

Whats up with like rappers acting like skaters and white people screaming acting like black people,I am not racist but in the video “Your A Jerk”… there like wearing tight pants and wearing devil wears prada t shirts…I HATE THIS BAND NOW! !FUCKING WIGGERS” – A classic use of “I’m not racist but…”

I KNOW…. I FUCKING HATE WIGGERS make white ppl look bad” – This guy’s a bit more out the closet with his racism.

the music is so cool, but all the bullshit tough guy rap/hardcore posturing is weak as fuck.

shut the fuck up Canadian wigger trash. Soulja Boy wanna be core loving bitch. Black metal shits on this and your polo

yeah great song, despised icon style! but i hate the singers clothes… as you say heavymetla666, it looks like a hiphop video which i really can’t stand…

I like the song but it looks like some stupid rap video and also they have those stupid hats on which is really annoying me.

I like this band but why they acting like rappers

So there we go! more proof, if any were needed that Metal fans fear change!

I personally find the video’s depiction of an “alternative funeral” as amusing as ever, and my love of wiggers makes it even better!

Fashion Symbol of the Year:  The New Era Cap

2009 truly was the year of the wigger trend in metal apparently! This one has exploded this year onto not only slam metal and deathcore bands but almost everyone in metal! Check band photos and you’re almost guaranteed to see at least one person repping one, sticker intact usually. A special mention goes to that All Shall Perish basketball vest, which also seems to appear on many a band photo. There are even 2 of them hidden in this article!

Chillest Bro: Ben McCrow – The Rotted

After having interviewed him and chilled with him at bloodstock this year, I can confirm that he is a down to earth, upstanding hella mass tight chill bro.

Young Upstarts: Hideous Miscreation

This band added me on youtube, and since then I still check back to hear their jamz. Competent modern death metal, in the vein of Beneath the Massacre, Job For A Cowboy and Ingested, with some absolutely sick vocals, no doubt their highest accolade. The singer does some weird gargly noise I’ve never heard before, and as well as that both low and high screams like a champ. Some thoughtful and catchy guitarwork too, and sick drumming too. Brutal as shit, with powerful songwriting to back it up. I hope they make it big soon, so I can see them and participate in decent sized pits.

So there’s your year. I’m still kina hung over from the new year celebrations, and as a meaningful send into the year have also shaved my head. Hope you had as good a night as I did, macking on scene chicks before passing out mid sentence :), now who knows what new trends, albums and hilarious metal events 2-oh-10 will bring.



Bloodstock Open Air – 2009

August 21, 2009

2009, and the festival season is drawing to the end. With quite “meh” inducing line ups across the board, Bloodstock Open Air is standing out at the moment as having both an eclectic and strong line-up (Europe-Cradle-Carcass…..wat!?), that should have appealed to metal fans pretty much across the whole board. Maybe some more hardcore type bands wouldn’t have gone amiss, but I guess that would be in opposition to the festivals stance as being a “true” metal festival. Still, there was a huge range of bands here, with plenty going on to ensure that there was never a dull moment. Definitely one of the best line ups this summer.

Bloodstock has continued to grow considerably year upon year, and it’s definitely nothing like the festival it was back in its inception in 2005. However, more people, more size, and bigger bands has bought new trouble and obstacles for the festival. Not only was there an epidemic of theft in the campsites, with many people having reported money being stolen from inside their very tents while they slept, and the possibility of an organized “raid” on the sites by an outside group who were able to scale the security and make it in being raised, but there was also the very concerning event of a band being targeted by some serious projectiles. Bottle throwings are pretty much accepted at festivals now, but this was an everlasting gobstopper, which, despite sounding pretty hilarious as a missile, was actually very heavy, and could have potentially seriously injured someone.

The organizers have their work cut out and some serious security issues to address, before the reputation of the festival takes a serious fall. After all that the festival has gone through, it would be a shame for it to have to suffer this.

Anyway, enough of the gloom, the Headbang team, and many other people we know who were there, had a fantastic time, and so with no further ado, here is the overview of the festival and most importantly, the heavy f***ing metal.

Kicking off the festival for us, Blitzkrieg are the quintessential dad band. Pretty generic everything really, apart from their front man that is. Unfortunately in this case that’s not a good thing, the singer ruined for me what was a perfectly adequate band musically, with his unusual moshing and frankly disturbing kneeslaps I couldn’t help but feel I was watching the very personification of Peter Kay’s Uncle Knobhead up on stage. I swiftly left and got a beer. (5/10)

I’ve seen Insomnium before, so I’m aware they can definitely do much better than this. Maybe it was the sterile sound and poor levelling, maybe the sound guys hadn’t quite calibrated everything; it was still a pretty sub par performance. The Finns just lacked something. One guitar way louder than the other, vocals too high in the mix, pretty untight performance. Lacklustre. (4/10)

Something you can always rely on to get the party started anywhere, is Municipal Waste. The nu-thrashers kick the afternoon something fierce, with pits, crowd surfing, walls of death and all kinds of fun carnage. Token Municipal Waste fans as always make an appearance with beach inflatables to surf the waves upon waves of humans, adding to the flesh landfill. Highlight of the set was Tony Foresta calling for the crowd to break the world record for crowd surfers in one song, resulting in something that looked like the helms deep scene from Lord Of the Rings, with something like 400 odd crowd surfers in one song. (8/10)

Despite being a self-admitted ‘rock band not metal band’ Alternative Carpark rip up the B.O.A unsigned stage. If you haven’t seen these guys yet…you’re missing out! (8/10)

For a first UK show in 20 years you’d expect Sodom to have longer than 45 minutes…but then again this a UK festival…The band however overlook this small detail and show us what we’ve missed. Considering that a large amount of the audience were either still in nappies or swimming around as little sperm the last time Sodom set foot on UK soil. A common ‘patch favorite’ the band leave us all wanting more and hoping they don’t wait another two decades. Opening with “Napalm in the Morning” to rapturous applause, the band thrashed though what felt like a very well thought out and inclusive set. Even bass failure couldn’t stop them, Tom Angelripper switching mid song at the beginning of the set, to another bass with the same pictured ridiculous wide strap. While Municipal Waste may have had youth and energy, Sodom have experience and wisdom (whatever that means in thrash metal), and frankly better written songs to choose from. Felt special man! (9/10)

The Sophie Lancaster stage played host to the smallest number of acts but also some of the best performances. Young brit metallers Malefice are fully on top of their game, within 30 seconds of opener ‘The Midas Effect’ the tent is already packed to the brim. Roll on October… (8/10)
Arch Enemy surprised me with their performance this year, having seen them play a mediocre set in 2007 I was questioning whether I should bother wasting my carcass energy watching them, I was glad I did though. They put on a belting performance, with frontwoman Angela Gossow holding the audience in the palm of her hand (I heard the fat spotty guy next to me whisper ‘I’d do her’ to his similarly greasy friend-I though ‘you’d probably do Michael Ammott if he was covered in whipped cream tubsy’), but that’s another story. All in all a belting performance, and for me put Carcass into the shade a little.(10/10)

As a long time Carcass fan, they could probably take to the stage and play a set of Proclaimers covers and I’d still give them a 10 and say it’s the best I’ve seen them in the last couple of years. They were definitely as good as all the other shows they played since reforming, albeit with a more gory slideshow this time, which made me giggle with glee. Deformed penises, autopsies, and gore aplenty. Jeff Walker and his token cynicism makes for a brilliant frontman, and seems pretty down to earth for someone who spent the best part of a decade stealing medical references from text books and writing about bodily functions that seem nasty even when you have no idea what the hell they’re describing. All the classics were there, “Rotten to the Gore”, “Corporeal Jigsore Quandary”, “Reek of Putrefaction” et al, and as always, Ken Owen made an appearance to play a drum solo. Its nice to see that the solo gets better each time I see them, showing progress in his recovery from the 1999 brain haemorrhage he suffered. He even played a blast beat, which was probably about on par with the quality of drums on an early Morbid Angel demo. After the set they projected a film of a female body being cut open to classical music. (10/10)

Seeming like a self-admitting Anvil tribute act (they all wore Anvil shirts for one) Wolf are enjoyable but well just enjoyable really. There’s not much more to say. (6/10)

The Haunted were a lovely wake up call on a bright and breezy Saturday afternoon, after a brew and a bacon butty we wandered down to catch a very aggressive set which left all the crowd with their previous nights hangovers forgotten and there forthcoming drunkenness eagerly anticipated. The only downer for me was that some knobhead stood next to me had made it his business to personally inform all 10,000 BOA festival goers that he owned the same guitar head as the two guitarists from the Haunted. It wouldn’t have been so bad were it not that it was HB’s own Eyelicker! (8/10)

It may sound conceited to say that Entombed are unappreciated..but its true. Literally hundreds of band’s owe their existence to the likes of these guys and the music they created in the latter end of the 80’s. (8/10)

Candlemass even if they are ‘slow dad metal’ are superb. Seamlessly mixing old with new the doom metal veterans make even a beautiful day sound gloomy and melancholic. (8/10)

On the way back to the tent, I was walking past the unsigned stage and heard some sick drumming. Being one to always try new things, I popped in to witness Sanctorum. They play a kind of extreme thrash metal, with wicked technicality. Every member of the band held his own incredibly well, most notably the bassist with his 7 string behemoth of an instrument. A thoroughly enjoyable set, check them out! (7/10)

With a reputation for hit and miss live performances its difficult to know what to expect from German thrash overlords Kreator however we must have caught Mike and co on a good day. Tearing through ‘Hordes Of Chaos’, ‘Pleasure To Kill’ and ‘Flag Of Hate’ its thrash metal heaven. (9/10)

I’d been waiting to see Apocalyptica for a long time. Having fully got over the ‘novelty act’ these Finnish cellists put a performance that makes you think they’re headlining. Mixing covers (‘Refuse/ Resist’, ‘Whever I May Roam’ the list goes on) with some stunning original material it’s a honour to watch. Set highlights? The ‘One’ solo played note for note on cello and the band’s own adaption of ‘Hall Of The Mountain King’. (10/10)

I’ve played with Severed Heaven before, so had to check them out. Glad to see that the girls can still kick it with their brand of gothic death metal, full of subtle melodies and harmonies. I think there may have even been a couple of sly breakdowns in there too. Last band of the day on the stage, and they played like they were headlining! (8/10)

The Rotted’s position as a favored “cult” band, in the English extreme metal scene seems to be proven by the huge crowd that packs into the humble Sophie Lancaster stage. From the beginning they slay the place with insanely fast blastbeats and Ben McCrow’s harsh, almost punk like vocals. The band are as animated as the crowd, and doesn’t let anyone rest for a second. Beginning with “Nothin’ but a Nosebleed”, possibly the best song ever for smashing into a crowd, and throwing in a Gorerotted classic “Only Tools and Corpses”, everyone leaves having had several shades of shit beat out of them, and with huge smiles. (10/10)

The apprehension for Cradle Of Filth was…tense…to say the least. Largely shunned by the wider “scene”, as being too mainstream/not Kvlt enough or whatever myriad of reasons they have, I was hoping that the set would play out without incidence. Unfortunately, this was not so, as you’ve probably heard by now, some knobead took out one of their guitarists with an everlasting gobstopper, another victory for metalhead bigotry and puritania. In the 40 or so minutes before this cutting their set short however, they put on a surprisingly solid set. I’ve heard that they are terrible live, so found what I did see quite a pleasant surprise. Alright levelling, Dani’s vocals sounded pretty good, and some tight drumming. Just a big shame about the crowd of knobeads! Even before the gobstopper there were plenty of bottles, but the band played on and didn’t seem rankled in the slightest. “If you’re going to throw bottles, at least make sure they’re full” Could have been a really good set. (5/10)

After a surprisingly good nights sleep in the back of my van I was up eagerly anticipating seeing Sabaton for the first time since Wacken 08, ( a performance incidentally, of which I remember very little), despite the one guy who was severely packed into his Sabaton ‘costume’ I still enjoyed being in the crowd for a band that is one of the few power metal bands I enjoy. And boy did they put on a great show, for me half hour was a disgrace and the fact that their signing session went on for well over 45 minutes after it was scheduled to stop galvanises my view. They played all the classics and some of their best off the brilliant ‘Art of War’ and whilst I loved the show it was soured a bit when I found out that they were to be touring the UK beneath Dragonforce later in the year, aside from that shutout they were brilliant. (10/10)

Equilibrium received a very warm welcome for their first ever UK show, with plenty of fans turning out to show the Germans some love. This isn’t a massive surprise, considering the Bloodstock demograph’s love of folk metal, but they milked it well to play an awesome show. (8/10)

It’s true that Turisas can certainly work a crowd like putty but with what seems like a self-inflicted ‘encore’ you’re left with a sour taste that the band have gotten too big for their (fur skin) boots. (7/10)

With a somewhat flat sound and a slightly apathetic audience Anterior struggle, fantastic on record, their eclectic mix of influences doesn’t quite cut it with the B.O.A crowd. (6/10)

The last band I gave a balls about was Amon Amarth who put on a typically solid tight performance which had the whole crowd bouncing, to be frank I’ve seen these lads more times than I’ve changed my socks, (at the last count it was five) and they do seem to improve with every wash, as it were. Very enjoyable and well received and singer Johan Hegg somehow manages to look quite hard considering he is a fat bloke in a tight black tanktop. (9/10)

It was a shame that there was practically no one in the Sophie Lancaster stage to witness Darkness Dynamite, a practically unknown over here French band who play a kind of rocky deathcore, that refuses to be pigeonholed. The band however didn’t seem to really care about the lack of people though, and played a great energetic set, for the few who were there to lap up as their own little secret. Detuned, tight and heavy, this band deserves to be bigger than this, French metal is grossly under represented! (9/10)

Quite why black metal legends Satyricon are playing now isn’t clear, but that doesn’t matter, what does matter is that Saytr and Frost are back with a new band, a new(ish) album, and a crowd who’ve certainly missed them. A mere hour set doesn’t do them justice. (9/10)

Many eyebrows were raised (and have remained so) at the billing of Europe as festival headliners. Nevertheless the band use their 90 minutes well and by the time it gets round to playing that song (yes you know the one I mean) the crowd go wild. As a LED lightboard declares that its ‘About f**king time!’ we retire to our tents with the sound of classic rock still ringing in our ears. (8/10)

As well as the music, there were plenty of other great things on display. Comedians, a set by the infamous “fuel girls”, who we last saw breathing fire at Motorhead’s Wacken set, a motorbike being driven round the inside of a metal ball courtesy of monster energy drinks, as well as a pleasant enough chippie, a shisha café, and everyone’s favorite brew stop, Mr Tea.

Despite being ‘bigger than ever’ this year Bloodstock is still relatively small for the band’s it attracts and it never ceases to amaze that you can turn up and buy tickets on the door…still its everyone who didn’t go’s loss! Throughout the weekend band’s declared B.O.A to be a ‘true f**king metal festival, non of that fashion bulls**t’ *cough*Download*cough*. the metal faithful remain true. So thanks it is to the press guys, the crew, the bands and course…the one and only…hero of the weekend…MR TEA!

James Hodgeson, Eyelicker and Mr Bogle

Thanks also to John Wilson and Alicia Rovira-Parker

Special thanks as well to Adam Sagir of the Noise Cartel, for hitting us up with the press passes, and the opportunities to hang out with members of The Rotted, Municipal Waste and The Haunted, as well as the interview with Equilibrium!